I Didnt Even Get Her Name

Today I did something that I never do. I stopped and gave a stranger a ride. I don't normally do that because I am afraid of what would happen even though we all know its the right thing to do to help someone. I took her to Hickton past Rosalie. I had $20 left to my name and I put it in the car for gas so I could take her there. I wondered if I was doing the wrong thing bc how would I make it the rest of the week, especially now with no money left. But soon enough I new I was doing the right thing and I know God isn't going to let me do without what I need. This girl needed help, she was a mess, an emotional basket case. When I stopped for her she said thank you so much. She said she wanted to throw herself in front of the next car that drove by and it was my car, but I stopped for her. I brought her back to my house to get her something to eat and drink. She said she hadn't eaten in over a day. Well, we got back in the car and headed towards Rosalie and we talked alot during that drive. I asked her how she ended up in Scottsboro. She said she wasn't sure, she only knew she came here by ambulance and woke up in the hospital. She and her husband were going through a really rough time and she didn't know if she could fix things with him. She said they have a 3 year old little girl and she wanted to try. It was then I saw the band aid on her wrist and asked her what happened. She said "I am such a screw up that I couldn't even kill myself. I tried to slit my wrist and I pressed that knife so hard into my wrist that it should have cut right through it but all I got was this little scratch." It was at that moment that I realized she needed my help. I told her it wasn't her time to go. I said do you believe in God? She said I try to. I said you have every reason to believe now because God spared your life last night. His hand kept that knife from doing what you wanted it to. You have a reason to live and you need to start right now. She said will you help me? I almost cried. She said I have no one and I don't know what to do. I said pray with me, right now. She said I don't know how. I told her she does to. And we prayed, out loud and we both cried. I told her no matter how bad your life is right now, no matter how much you want to end it, you are here for a reason, God has a bigger plan for you than you have for yourself. Even though I struggle with my faith from time to time, I have never felt God as strongly as I did when I was talking to her. I asked her if she went to church or new someone who did. She said her parents started going a few years ago but they wont talk to her. So I gave her my phone and said call them. She said, I don't know what to say. I said tell them you love them and that you need them. So she did and now she is going to go with them to church. I told her life wont get any better if she doenst do something about it right now. She said well maybe next week I can start. I said no, right now. Right this very minute stop thinking bad about yourself, stop believing your nothing, stop being negative and give me a big smile. She smiled and I said now doesn't that make you feel better. I told her every morning when she wakes up no matter how bad she feels, to go kiss that baby girl, tell her you love her and promise yourself you are going to make life better for the two of you and that you are going to make things work with your husband. Don't let another minute of your life go by without grabbing every bit of happiness you can. Even if you have nothing to your name, and no where to turn, turn to God and He will make a way. God will give you light when your whole world is dark. God will give you the strength you need to get off of those depression pills. He will make a way for you a better life. You may not be rich and have beautiful things but you will have God and all the happiness your heart can hold. She said, "Can God really do that for you?" I said, your alive today aren't you? You didn't succeed in killing yourself last night. She said how do I get God to help me. He never does. I said you have to ask Him. Ask God for help, He is there to help you and He loves you, even now. We talked a bit more before I dropped her off at her house. When I pickled her up she was totally lost and wanted to die and by the time I got her home she was a totally different person. She said she wanted to change and become a good mother for her daughter. I felt like a helped save someones life today. I only hope that my faith in God was strong enough to get through to her. Even as I struggle with faith day to day sometimes, I had never heard such encouraging, uplifting words come out of mouth before. I know I reached her, but I also know that I helped myself. Just hearing words of faith coming out of my mouth and giving them to someone else made me realize how important it is to not only pray but to speak about God to others. It gave me a feeling I hadn't felt before and it felt really good. I may not have saved her life, and she might never change, but I know with what I told her about how God can move for us gave her a glimpse of hope. That's all we need sometimes, a little hope. And if we hang on to that then we can change our life around for the better. As she was getting out of the car I gave her my number and said call me anytime you need to talk. She said you wouldn't mind, if I needed some words of encouragement or wanted to hear more about God, you would talk to me about Him. I said honey, yes I will and you call me whenever you need to talk. She gave me a big hug and said thank you. She said you are the first person who has ever cared about me and I don't even know you. I am going to pray for that girl and pray that I reached her. I didn't even get her name.

♥ Cooking ♥

I used to really love cooking. Well, actually it was more than a love, it was a passion. I havent cooked with a passion for over 2 years. Somewhere along the way I lost that part of me. Before that, it didnt matter how bad my day was, cooking and baking made me feel better. It lifted my spirits and gave such joy. I loved cooking meals, baking desserts. Lol, I remember what a friend of mine said to me. He said I could make a rock taste good. I want that passion back. When I was in the kitchen all my worries went away. I loved that I had somewhere to escap, even if it was for only a few hours a day. It was good for me. I remember how I would have planned what I was going to cook dinner that night, but when I got into the kitchen it all changed. I would get some awesome idea for making that ordinary dinner taste a little better, look a bit more tempting. I maybe had only a few dishes that never turned out so great, but that was only bc someone didnt like the onions in it, or mushrooms. There will always be one or two ingredients that one doesnt like. Thats just part of it. I am looking for that passion again. I want it to come back to me and jump into my heart and say "Girl, you know where you belong, its in the kitchen cooking up another delisious original alice johnson recipe." Boy, dont I wish. I put so much love into my food. I am not being arrogant at all, I know Im not the best, but I never had any complaints back then. Its like now, its just fixing a meal for my family to eat. Thats not exciting. What is exciting is creating a meal for my family that will not only leave them feeling full but will give them a huge satisfing smile on their face. I am now searching for my passion of cooking and I wont stop til I get it back.

♥ Quote ♥

If we take all the goodness, wisdom, and compassion of the best mothers and fathers who have ever lived, they would only be a faint shadow of the love and mercy in the heart of the redeeming God.

Believing

Its another great day in my life. If I want each day to be great, then I believe it will be. Earlier today I got myself into a bad mood, by letting my past insecurities get back into my head, something I shouldnt have done. Well, after about an hour of being grumpy, I took a deep breath and told myself, " Relax, calm down, smile, everything is going to be ok". Then I prayed, and all was good. I intend on beating out every bad mood with a good mood. If I believe I can then I will.

A Divine Connection ♥

God puts people in your life on purpose. There is always a reason behind everything God does. He is in control and He knows what is best for you. I believe that.

Even though I started out with negative and bad people in my life, I know there was a reasoning behind it. Those people who showed me no compassion, no love, no kindness, were the people who I needed most at that moment. Yes you are allowed to think that is strange, or think its not even right. I know its right, they were there at the right time. All of those people taught me something, I learned from them. God put them into my life to give me courage, strength, and love in my heart. Even though I didn't really understand or even use all of those blessings, I understand them now. I wouldn't have been the strong, caring, loving, and kind woman I am today without having gone through all those awful things in my past.

One day I was creating a myspace page just because my friends had asked me to. They said "we don't use yahoo messenger anymore, we use myspace". So I thought, ok, I will try it. Not long after I received a message from a guy who told me I was pretty. I was drawn to him from that moment on. No guy had ever told me I was pretty and seemed so sincere about it. I had a good feeling about that guy. We decided to meet, and we did. From that moment on I have been in love with the most wonderful man I had ever met. That man is my fiance, Cody Cookston. I know God had it planned from the beginning for us to meet. We both have taught each other so many things about life, love, and faith. Cody`s family is truly wonderful also. I have learned so many things from them too. God knew exactly what I needed and He sent it my way. It was a blessing from God that I met Cody and his family. His sister Chelsea, has taught me things without even knowing it. She is the kindest, and sweetest person I think I have ever known. I cant tell you a time that I have seen her without a smile on her face, and something sweet to say. She brought kindness into my heart, more than was already there. She makes me want to smile everyday, just because I know its possible too because I see her doing so.
Then there is Doc, Cody`s daddy. He is a preacher at our church. Before I met them I didn't have faith, I believed there was a God but that was about all there was to it. God wanted me to have faith in Him, and He didn't want me to wait any longer. Of course it took me about two years to have strong faith in the Lord, but I know it wouldn't have been possible without having known Doc.
Kerry, well she just makes me feel like I can do anything. I`ve been told the stories of how she held a few jobs while putting herself through college. To most people that seems impossible, it did to me. But seeing how blessed she is right now, with a career she loves, and knowing how hard she worked to get there, its amazing. When I think of her I believe I can do whatever I set my mind to as long as I keep faith in the Lord.
Melissa is the sweetest mother, and the WORLDS BEST COOK ( if you don't believe it, you should try her food)! I love her to pieces! She has showed me what being a mother is all about. No matter what she puts her family first and she seems like she has the strenght of a thousand men when it comes to taking care of and loving her family. I know I will have been blessed if I am just half the mother she is. She has shown me motherly love from the moment I met her. Melissa and Doc have shown me that two people who truly love one another can make a marriage work. I am so thankful that I have her in my life today.
Cody, my fiance, the love of my life. Yes we have arguments, we get aggravated with one another, but we have a bond that is stronger than Gorilla glue (hahaha). I am not sure how, but I seem to find something else about him everyday that I love even more, I seem to keep falling in love with him over and over. To have a man who is eager to tell you how beautiful you are, how special you are to him is a one of a kind feeling. I believe that Cody is my soul mate, the man I will spend the rest of my days here on earth with. I think we bring out the good in one another. I know that is why God put our hearts together, He new we were what the other needed. So right was He. I couldn't imagine a day without my love in my life. I Love You Cody! ♥
My sweet sweet wonderful children. I would be lost without those precious little angles God blessed me to have. I am truly blessed and proud to call myself their mother. My son John, and my daughter Libby have taught me more than I ever thought a child could teach an adult. Patience, kindness, compassion, are just a few. My heart overflows with the love I have for those kids. They make me want to make this world a better place for them when I am gone. My children make me want to be an even better person than I am. Even in my darkest of hours, my kids seem to light up my life. They bring hope back into my heart when I think all hope is gone. John and Libby can make me smile, and burst out into laughter, laughing so hard I start to cry, even when I am having the worst day ever. I know I am a good mother, but my children make me want to be an even better one. Children fill this world with hope, love, and happiness. My children are my little angles, my precious gifts from God, that I hold so dear. Even in a world such as the one we live in, my children bring me hope for our future. After all, its how we raise our children that depends on how this world can be changed for the better. They all need a good raising filled with Faith, God and Church.
I know I have reached my place of happiness in my life because of all of my loved ones in my life, and because I have put all my faith in the Lord. Cherish every moment and make the best of what you have. God has reasoning behind it all. And even if your life seems turned upside down, just remember, keep your faith in God because all he puts on you will lead you to where He wants you to be. God Bless you all and have a wonderful evening. :)

Just Think About It =)

Oh me, this world sure is full of negative things. I don't even watch the news anymore because I cant understand why someone would think its great to share with the world about who got stabbed, robbed, murdered....ect. Why does it seem like people enjoy watching, and hearing about bad things. Shouldn't we be talking about good things. Positive thinking, Happiness, Victory in God, and having faith are contagious things. Why not share those stories instead of the ones that break our hearts? We all know how bad this world is becoming, and by sharing bad news, bad attitudes, you are only spreading that negativity. Lets spread joy. You can`t tell me it wouldn`t work. I know it would! Have you ever gone into work and you were having the worst day of your life, (or so it seemed at that moment) and there was that one person whose smile and chipper attitude just started getting on your nerves. Yes, sure there was. But what happened after a few minutes or so? You sort of got to thinking, she is funny, maybe even a little weird......then you smiled. :) You know its true. We have all been there. So if we got it on our mind that everyday for the rest of our lives ( or just a week, or a month) we would make it our own personal project to cheer up any person we saw having a bad day, don't you think more people would do the same? I do. I know we cant change the world. It is the way God wants it to be. But what if God saw that his children were doing all they could to make this world a better place? I believe He would be bringing blessings upon us and this world would start to be a happier place to live. Yes, you might think I have gone nuts, but I believe in what I say. I believe in the power of faith, joy, and happiness. God wants us all to walk in the image of His Son. I think we should. No matter how bad things are, please smile through the pain, laugh through the sorrows and praise God, for He is in control! Live for Christ, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. ♥

Update

I am so thankful to God for giving me the strength to quit smoking. Although I am not quite there yet, I have been doing alot better than I ever thought I could. I know that if I didn't have the Lord on my side I would not have been able to conquer this bad habit. I have been twelve hours without a cigarette before I gave in a had one. I used to smoke about one every hour or so, about a pack a day. I have struggled with this the past week or so but I have every bit of faith in me and in God that I will be smoke free come Valentines Day. That is the goal date I set for myself. I am confident that if I keep my faith in God, let my faith control my heart instead of my fears that I will succeed. I can do all things through God who gives me strength. I ask that you please keep me in your prayers as I go through this battle and come closer to my goal date.