I Didnt Even Get Her Name

Today I did something that I never do. I stopped and gave a stranger a ride. I don't normally do that because I am afraid of what would happen even though we all know its the right thing to do to help someone. I took her to Hickton past Rosalie. I had $20 left to my name and I put it in the car for gas so I could take her there. I wondered if I was doing the wrong thing bc how would I make it the rest of the week, especially now with no money left. But soon enough I new I was doing the right thing and I know God isn't going to let me do without what I need. This girl needed help, she was a mess, an emotional basket case. When I stopped for her she said thank you so much. She said she wanted to throw herself in front of the next car that drove by and it was my car, but I stopped for her. I brought her back to my house to get her something to eat and drink. She said she hadn't eaten in over a day. Well, we got back in the car and headed towards Rosalie and we talked alot during that drive. I asked her how she ended up in Scottsboro. She said she wasn't sure, she only knew she came here by ambulance and woke up in the hospital. She and her husband were going through a really rough time and she didn't know if she could fix things with him. She said they have a 3 year old little girl and she wanted to try. It was then I saw the band aid on her wrist and asked her what happened. She said "I am such a screw up that I couldn't even kill myself. I tried to slit my wrist and I pressed that knife so hard into my wrist that it should have cut right through it but all I got was this little scratch." It was at that moment that I realized she needed my help. I told her it wasn't her time to go. I said do you believe in God? She said I try to. I said you have every reason to believe now because God spared your life last night. His hand kept that knife from doing what you wanted it to. You have a reason to live and you need to start right now. She said will you help me? I almost cried. She said I have no one and I don't know what to do. I said pray with me, right now. She said I don't know how. I told her she does to. And we prayed, out loud and we both cried. I told her no matter how bad your life is right now, no matter how much you want to end it, you are here for a reason, God has a bigger plan for you than you have for yourself. Even though I struggle with my faith from time to time, I have never felt God as strongly as I did when I was talking to her. I asked her if she went to church or new someone who did. She said her parents started going a few years ago but they wont talk to her. So I gave her my phone and said call them. She said, I don't know what to say. I said tell them you love them and that you need them. So she did and now she is going to go with them to church. I told her life wont get any better if she doenst do something about it right now. She said well maybe next week I can start. I said no, right now. Right this very minute stop thinking bad about yourself, stop believing your nothing, stop being negative and give me a big smile. She smiled and I said now doesn't that make you feel better. I told her every morning when she wakes up no matter how bad she feels, to go kiss that baby girl, tell her you love her and promise yourself you are going to make life better for the two of you and that you are going to make things work with your husband. Don't let another minute of your life go by without grabbing every bit of happiness you can. Even if you have nothing to your name, and no where to turn, turn to God and He will make a way. God will give you light when your whole world is dark. God will give you the strength you need to get off of those depression pills. He will make a way for you a better life. You may not be rich and have beautiful things but you will have God and all the happiness your heart can hold. She said, "Can God really do that for you?" I said, your alive today aren't you? You didn't succeed in killing yourself last night. She said how do I get God to help me. He never does. I said you have to ask Him. Ask God for help, He is there to help you and He loves you, even now. We talked a bit more before I dropped her off at her house. When I pickled her up she was totally lost and wanted to die and by the time I got her home she was a totally different person. She said she wanted to change and become a good mother for her daughter. I felt like a helped save someones life today. I only hope that my faith in God was strong enough to get through to her. Even as I struggle with faith day to day sometimes, I had never heard such encouraging, uplifting words come out of mouth before. I know I reached her, but I also know that I helped myself. Just hearing words of faith coming out of my mouth and giving them to someone else made me realize how important it is to not only pray but to speak about God to others. It gave me a feeling I hadn't felt before and it felt really good. I may not have saved her life, and she might never change, but I know with what I told her about how God can move for us gave her a glimpse of hope. That's all we need sometimes, a little hope. And if we hang on to that then we can change our life around for the better. As she was getting out of the car I gave her my number and said call me anytime you need to talk. She said you wouldn't mind, if I needed some words of encouragement or wanted to hear more about God, you would talk to me about Him. I said honey, yes I will and you call me whenever you need to talk. She gave me a big hug and said thank you. She said you are the first person who has ever cared about me and I don't even know you. I am going to pray for that girl and pray that I reached her. I didn't even get her name.

♥ Cooking ♥

I used to really love cooking. Well, actually it was more than a love, it was a passion. I havent cooked with a passion for over 2 years. Somewhere along the way I lost that part of me. Before that, it didnt matter how bad my day was, cooking and baking made me feel better. It lifted my spirits and gave such joy. I loved cooking meals, baking desserts. Lol, I remember what a friend of mine said to me. He said I could make a rock taste good. I want that passion back. When I was in the kitchen all my worries went away. I loved that I had somewhere to escap, even if it was for only a few hours a day. It was good for me. I remember how I would have planned what I was going to cook dinner that night, but when I got into the kitchen it all changed. I would get some awesome idea for making that ordinary dinner taste a little better, look a bit more tempting. I maybe had only a few dishes that never turned out so great, but that was only bc someone didnt like the onions in it, or mushrooms. There will always be one or two ingredients that one doesnt like. Thats just part of it. I am looking for that passion again. I want it to come back to me and jump into my heart and say "Girl, you know where you belong, its in the kitchen cooking up another delisious original alice johnson recipe." Boy, dont I wish. I put so much love into my food. I am not being arrogant at all, I know Im not the best, but I never had any complaints back then. Its like now, its just fixing a meal for my family to eat. Thats not exciting. What is exciting is creating a meal for my family that will not only leave them feeling full but will give them a huge satisfing smile on their face. I am now searching for my passion of cooking and I wont stop til I get it back.

♥ Quote ♥

If we take all the goodness, wisdom, and compassion of the best mothers and fathers who have ever lived, they would only be a faint shadow of the love and mercy in the heart of the redeeming God.

Believing

Its another great day in my life. If I want each day to be great, then I believe it will be. Earlier today I got myself into a bad mood, by letting my past insecurities get back into my head, something I shouldnt have done. Well, after about an hour of being grumpy, I took a deep breath and told myself, " Relax, calm down, smile, everything is going to be ok". Then I prayed, and all was good. I intend on beating out every bad mood with a good mood. If I believe I can then I will.

A Divine Connection ♥

God puts people in your life on purpose. There is always a reason behind everything God does. He is in control and He knows what is best for you. I believe that.

Even though I started out with negative and bad people in my life, I know there was a reasoning behind it. Those people who showed me no compassion, no love, no kindness, were the people who I needed most at that moment. Yes you are allowed to think that is strange, or think its not even right. I know its right, they were there at the right time. All of those people taught me something, I learned from them. God put them into my life to give me courage, strength, and love in my heart. Even though I didn't really understand or even use all of those blessings, I understand them now. I wouldn't have been the strong, caring, loving, and kind woman I am today without having gone through all those awful things in my past.

One day I was creating a myspace page just because my friends had asked me to. They said "we don't use yahoo messenger anymore, we use myspace". So I thought, ok, I will try it. Not long after I received a message from a guy who told me I was pretty. I was drawn to him from that moment on. No guy had ever told me I was pretty and seemed so sincere about it. I had a good feeling about that guy. We decided to meet, and we did. From that moment on I have been in love with the most wonderful man I had ever met. That man is my fiance, Cody Cookston. I know God had it planned from the beginning for us to meet. We both have taught each other so many things about life, love, and faith. Cody`s family is truly wonderful also. I have learned so many things from them too. God knew exactly what I needed and He sent it my way. It was a blessing from God that I met Cody and his family. His sister Chelsea, has taught me things without even knowing it. She is the kindest, and sweetest person I think I have ever known. I cant tell you a time that I have seen her without a smile on her face, and something sweet to say. She brought kindness into my heart, more than was already there. She makes me want to smile everyday, just because I know its possible too because I see her doing so.
Then there is Doc, Cody`s daddy. He is a preacher at our church. Before I met them I didn't have faith, I believed there was a God but that was about all there was to it. God wanted me to have faith in Him, and He didn't want me to wait any longer. Of course it took me about two years to have strong faith in the Lord, but I know it wouldn't have been possible without having known Doc.
Kerry, well she just makes me feel like I can do anything. I`ve been told the stories of how she held a few jobs while putting herself through college. To most people that seems impossible, it did to me. But seeing how blessed she is right now, with a career she loves, and knowing how hard she worked to get there, its amazing. When I think of her I believe I can do whatever I set my mind to as long as I keep faith in the Lord.
Melissa is the sweetest mother, and the WORLDS BEST COOK ( if you don't believe it, you should try her food)! I love her to pieces! She has showed me what being a mother is all about. No matter what she puts her family first and she seems like she has the strenght of a thousand men when it comes to taking care of and loving her family. I know I will have been blessed if I am just half the mother she is. She has shown me motherly love from the moment I met her. Melissa and Doc have shown me that two people who truly love one another can make a marriage work. I am so thankful that I have her in my life today.
Cody, my fiance, the love of my life. Yes we have arguments, we get aggravated with one another, but we have a bond that is stronger than Gorilla glue (hahaha). I am not sure how, but I seem to find something else about him everyday that I love even more, I seem to keep falling in love with him over and over. To have a man who is eager to tell you how beautiful you are, how special you are to him is a one of a kind feeling. I believe that Cody is my soul mate, the man I will spend the rest of my days here on earth with. I think we bring out the good in one another. I know that is why God put our hearts together, He new we were what the other needed. So right was He. I couldn't imagine a day without my love in my life. I Love You Cody! ♥
My sweet sweet wonderful children. I would be lost without those precious little angles God blessed me to have. I am truly blessed and proud to call myself their mother. My son John, and my daughter Libby have taught me more than I ever thought a child could teach an adult. Patience, kindness, compassion, are just a few. My heart overflows with the love I have for those kids. They make me want to make this world a better place for them when I am gone. My children make me want to be an even better person than I am. Even in my darkest of hours, my kids seem to light up my life. They bring hope back into my heart when I think all hope is gone. John and Libby can make me smile, and burst out into laughter, laughing so hard I start to cry, even when I am having the worst day ever. I know I am a good mother, but my children make me want to be an even better one. Children fill this world with hope, love, and happiness. My children are my little angles, my precious gifts from God, that I hold so dear. Even in a world such as the one we live in, my children bring me hope for our future. After all, its how we raise our children that depends on how this world can be changed for the better. They all need a good raising filled with Faith, God and Church.
I know I have reached my place of happiness in my life because of all of my loved ones in my life, and because I have put all my faith in the Lord. Cherish every moment and make the best of what you have. God has reasoning behind it all. And even if your life seems turned upside down, just remember, keep your faith in God because all he puts on you will lead you to where He wants you to be. God Bless you all and have a wonderful evening. :)

Just Think About It =)

Oh me, this world sure is full of negative things. I don't even watch the news anymore because I cant understand why someone would think its great to share with the world about who got stabbed, robbed, murdered....ect. Why does it seem like people enjoy watching, and hearing about bad things. Shouldn't we be talking about good things. Positive thinking, Happiness, Victory in God, and having faith are contagious things. Why not share those stories instead of the ones that break our hearts? We all know how bad this world is becoming, and by sharing bad news, bad attitudes, you are only spreading that negativity. Lets spread joy. You can`t tell me it wouldn`t work. I know it would! Have you ever gone into work and you were having the worst day of your life, (or so it seemed at that moment) and there was that one person whose smile and chipper attitude just started getting on your nerves. Yes, sure there was. But what happened after a few minutes or so? You sort of got to thinking, she is funny, maybe even a little weird......then you smiled. :) You know its true. We have all been there. So if we got it on our mind that everyday for the rest of our lives ( or just a week, or a month) we would make it our own personal project to cheer up any person we saw having a bad day, don't you think more people would do the same? I do. I know we cant change the world. It is the way God wants it to be. But what if God saw that his children were doing all they could to make this world a better place? I believe He would be bringing blessings upon us and this world would start to be a happier place to live. Yes, you might think I have gone nuts, but I believe in what I say. I believe in the power of faith, joy, and happiness. God wants us all to walk in the image of His Son. I think we should. No matter how bad things are, please smile through the pain, laugh through the sorrows and praise God, for He is in control! Live for Christ, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. ♥

Update

I am so thankful to God for giving me the strength to quit smoking. Although I am not quite there yet, I have been doing alot better than I ever thought I could. I know that if I didn't have the Lord on my side I would not have been able to conquer this bad habit. I have been twelve hours without a cigarette before I gave in a had one. I used to smoke about one every hour or so, about a pack a day. I have struggled with this the past week or so but I have every bit of faith in me and in God that I will be smoke free come Valentines Day. That is the goal date I set for myself. I am confident that if I keep my faith in God, let my faith control my heart instead of my fears that I will succeed. I can do all things through God who gives me strength. I ask that you please keep me in your prayers as I go through this battle and come closer to my goal date.

Simply Put

GOD Is Good! ♥

GOD Will Make A Way ♥

God will make a way! I believe that with my whole heart. I know God will make a way for me. I believe it is my time to shine, to prosper, to succeed, to inspire others and to become the person God created me to be. I feel in my heart that God has big plans for me, and I know they will all come to me in due time. I have to keep faith though, even through hard disappointing times. Never will I give up.

God knows everything I need and He shall provide, as long as I keep asking, and as long as I keep my faith forever strong in Him. Of course God will make a way. But that doesn't mean you can sit on your rear day after day and pray and just expect Him to bring you what you need. It doesn't work that way. even though God will provide a way for you, He also wants you to work at it, search for it, live each day trying to better yourself while praying to Him to help you find the way. You cant just give up and wait for God. You have to find Him. I have been searching for a job for almost 2 months now, and with no luck. The previous job I had came to an end around Christmas time in 2009, due to the business closing. I was devastated. And in my search for work I became disappointed and kept telling myself I would never find work, I don't think anyone is going to hire me, I am destined to be a failure and not be able to provide for my family. I was so wrong in my thinking. Now that I have faith in the Lord, I know he will make a way. He will provide me with what is best for me in His eyes, not mine. I know that for me to succeed and to find that job I so dearly need, I have to search for it, harder than I did before, but with a better attitude. I have to pray and pray constantly, and never give up. He will make a way for His child to become everything He created me to be. I will do things in this journey I have ahead of me that I will not understand. I will be thinking this is unfair, this isn`t the big break I know God has in store for me, how could this be helping me. I COULD think like that, but I WON`T. Instead I will thank Him and Praise Him for I know that whatever He brings upon me that it is all part of His plan, and it is making me ready for the big break, the wonderful great blessings He has waiting for me. It will all come in due time. God is an on time God. He doesn`t work on my clock, He works from His. He gives us all the things we need at the right times in our lives. I believe God will make a way for me!

Stretching Your Faith ♥

Stretch your Faith. It`s not a rubber band, it won`t break. So go on, stretch your Faith in the Lord as far as you can take it! Don`t be ashamed. Don`t be scared, just go on and try it. God wants you too! God is longing for you to reach others through your Faith in Him. It`s the right thing to do.

My Prayer ♥

Dear Lord, I thank you for bringing your blessings upon me. I thank You, God, for strengthing my Faith in You Lord. I love You God and I know You love me.I thank You Lord for my family, my happiness, my faith, and all that You have put upon my heart. I know good things are coming to me. I am asking today for Your favor, for Your blessings upon me. I ask God, not only will You bless me with all You hoped for me to be, and for I shall make true in this life the dreams You put into my heart, but Lord, bless me in such a way that I can share my blessings upon others, bring good into their lives, share my Faith in You God with the ones I encounter in my life. God, thank You for being a great God, a loving God, and for Your son, Jesus Christ who shed his blood for to wash away our sins. God, I ask that I to can breath the faith Of the Lord into another soul who walks this earth, and that she/he can do the same. I love you God and I praise you! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Understanding

Do you understand the Power of God? The Power of Faith? If not, you should. Often times people are scared of the unknown, of faith, scared of believing. Perhaps its because they don't want to be the one righteous person standing alone. All to often we find it easier to stand with the wrong crowd, the negative speakers. When you do that you are paving a road to Hell. No one wants to go to Hell, right? We all want to go to Heaven, walk the streets of gold. But we don't want to do the work to get there. This world needs good people, good role models, good teachers, who will show us that there is nothing wrong with sticking to what you believe in. So, you believe in God and you have put all your Faith into His hands. Along comes some people who don't believe, they may make fun of you and your faith. Don't give in to them and join their disbelieving ways. That is simply a test from God to see how strong your Faith is. Don't disappoint God. Make him proud. Stand away from the negative, over power the bad with your faith in the Lord. You will soon see that you will reap the rewards of good faith into your life.

That was me, up until a few days ago. Of course I always believed in God, I just didn't understand what it meant to "have faith". I didn't grow up with the word of God preached or spoken to me. I didn't know how God could change my life. I didn't know that He had an amazing life ahead of me. For the longest I thought God hated me, for He must because He allowed all this negative and bad things to come into my life and happen to me. Nothing seemed to get better for me, it always go worse, or so I thought. Even though I prayed daily, and often, it didn't seem to help. God wanted me to have Faith. I didn't know how to have Faith in the Lord. For 31 years of my life I heard God being criticized, and talked bad about. I would often hear "Why attend church, God doesn't care about me". When I was in school I would see people who had Faith and then hear the laughs, the negative comments from other kids. Because of all those things I never pursed God.

I met Cody Cookston on May 26th 2008 and that was the beginning of something good. Looking back I now see that God had sent him to me, it was His plan. In the first few months of us dating Cody treated me like I was someone special. I had never been special to anyone before. Cody would tell me things like, "You are beautiful", "You can do anything you set your mind too". He was always encouraging me to follow my dreams, he stood beside me, held my hand, and he had Faith in me. Things no one else had ever said to me. He said good things to me, great things, as opposed to all the negative words from my past. Cody was sent to me to help put my life in order so that I would find my Faith in the Lord. I started going to church with Cody on and off. Sometimes I really enjoyed it, other times it made absolutely no sense to me. I often thought whats the use. I tried to forgive people for their wrong doings but I'm still angry with them. This isn't doing me any good. It was, I just couldn't see it. My negativity was like a fog that kept me from seeing the Faith I could be blessed to have. I often went to bed each night wondering, praying, and trying really hard to put my Faith in God. It never worked for me. I said to myself, I'm destined to fail and be miserable for the rest of my life.

February 1st I was laying in the bed talking to Cody, more like crying. I told him that I no longer could handle the pain from my past, I no longer wanted to feel angry at the world, I was tired and I wanted to give up on God, on a good life, on ever finding peace. I prayed and prayed that night until I fell asleep praying. The next day was one that would be the start of the rest of my life.

As I woke up the next morning, I felt the same. I thought God still didn't hear my prayers. I was a grump all day. Well, my son John had a science project to do and I needed the materials. I went to walmart to buy poster board for John, and that's when it happened. See, I don't buy alot of books, I'm not a reader. As I grabbed my item I turned around and I saw this book. I couldn't take my eyes off it. I picked it up and read 3 sentences from the back then through it in the buggy and thought, might as well. Later that night I started reading this book, it changed me almost instantly. I was amazed! Everything about God made sense now, how to have Faith made sense, how to pray and so on. I read the first chapter that night and I woke up the next day a different person. It felt like God had reached inside of my soul and ripped out all the negative, and allowed the good hearted person I was meant to be to arise from the tiny little spot it had been squashed into all those years. I had Faith. I believed. It is still amazing to me that for 31 yrs I had no faith, I heard it preached but never accepted it, and in one night my whole life changed. Just like that I had Faith in the Lord. It was his plan all along. My Faith came to me at the right time. God knew for this stubborn hard headed woman to believe in good that I had to endure a life time of pain, heartache, and disappointment. God does work in mysterious ways, even if it is through a book bought at walmart. I know UNDERSTAND why my life was as it was, why I am now a strong woman, and I understand how to properly love God, have Faith in Him, and put my life into His hands. Its all about timing and understanding..........I hope that you can also understand and believe. Its a wonderful feeling, nothing else in this world like it!

Love God :) ♥

Love God. Praise God. Worship God. Put your Faith in God. If you do all these daily you will have everything you need. God will not deny you the essentials it take for you to survive. If you don't already, try it today. God wants you to love yourself and that's where it all begins. You cant be happy until you love yourself. You say its too hard to be happy. No, God will make a way. So when you feel discouraged and like your life is going nowhere.....drop to your knees and pray. Father, You said the path of righteous gets better and brighter. You said no good thing will You withhold, because I walk uprightly. You said because I delight myself in You, You would give me the secret petitions of my heart. So, Father, I want to thank you that You are in control of my life, good things are in store, and I believe my time is coming.

Stay in an attitude of Faith, and an attitude of expectancy. Then the good Lord shall always provide.

One Act of Random Kindness

So, you say you don't have a reason to smile? Think again. You have several reasons to smile! Your alive, you have a great God who loves you, you have the ability to change your life. All you have to do is want it badly enough. So, today, when something really gets under your skin and you want to scream, or say something mean, just stop, breathe, and smile. You will feel better. Frowning and being negative takes a lot from your body, mind and soul. So smile, be happy, and I'm telling you you will feel better, have more energy, and after a few days of doing this you will feel great about yourself and actually become addicted to kindness. Its a good addiction though. Its never to late. You are closer than you think to a better life, a richer relationship, and a healthier body. Rewards will await you if you stay steadfast in your faith.

I am staying steadfast in my faith. I know good things are waiting for me. I wont get discouraged, I wont be disappointed, I will simply believe it is all part of Gods plan. Even if I make a mistake, its ok. God already new I was going too. But he also has my life planned out. He has arranged all the right people to walk into my life at exactly the right moments. I will keep faith and prayer and I know I will reap all the good things in store for me.

Today, if you see someone having a bad day, perhaps they spilled their coffee, or they cuss all the time, or they lost a loved one, no matter the case give them a smile. Smile and say, I hope you have a better day, or tell them God loves them, you will feel better if you try smiling the rest of the day. Yes, some people may just look at you like your nuts, but I guarantee you they will eventually give it a second thought. They will try it and hopefully, your smile made a positive change in someones life.

The world is in need of kindness, and lots of it. We all need to share our kindness with others. You never know how a simple phone call to a friend, or a smile to a stranger, or telling a loved one you really care can actually have a large impact on their life. Showing someone you care is life changing. So today, share a smile, spread some kind words, help someone in any way. Just show some kindness to this world and you will feel so much better while knowing you are helping make this world a better place simply by sharing one Act of Random Kindness.

Facing the Past for a Better Tomorrow

There are a few things I will mention. The things that hurt me the most throughout my life. I know this isn't really the choice reading material, but to me i feel it is helping me in my own way to write about it. I know it sounds silly but I also know it will help me.

First-I grew up with a mother and step father who wasn't loving towards me. I never heard my parents say to me they love me, don't recall any hugs either. Of course all little children need to hear " I love you" from mommy and daddy. My mother admits she hated herself for not having an abortion when she was pregnant with me. She is no longer in my life because according to her she is embarrassed to have me as a daughter. Who knows what goes through this woman's mind but I believe God could do her some good. It hurts to have parents who openly admit they don't love you or want you.

Second- This is probably the hardest of all to talk about. Only a few people know because for years I blamed myself, and thought it was my fault. I know now it isn't and never was my fault. I was the victim of rape when I was 18. My worst nightmare came to life. I was raped by two males. I will spare details because mentioning them wont do any good. I became pregnant as a result but later miscarried. I am glad that I can finally talk about this, its good not to keep things bottled up for to long. This trauma caused me to begin the sleepless nights that only grew through the years.

Third- The biological father of my children severely abused me. After a few months of dating him, the abuse became a normal daily thing in my life. I miscarried, and I lost my son`s twin from the hand of this man. Several times I thought I would die but God had other plans for me. So after 6 years of suffering from his hand I decided to run. I did. I took my children, a few belongings and drove til I reached Alabama. Never looked back.

Four- The guy I dated for 5 years after the previous was a cheater, and a controlling man who had alot of anger issues. Although I stayed, I never really understood why, but I stayed. I always turned my head, looked the other way, and pretended that it wasn't happening. The controlling ways and his hurtful words was probably the worst. I had been put down my whole life by the family that was supposed to love me, and now by him. Back then the words really cut very deeply. I never quite got over any of this...............

Facing the Past for a Better Tomorrow- I am learning to forgive. God wants us to forgive. To praise him in all things good and bad. Because I have been done wrong and hurt by those people, I will no longer be negative and bitter, my attitude from now on will be....."They just did me a favor. They just qualified me for double. And I believe my time is coming. I will come out with twice the joy, twice the peace, twice the victory. " I will not be defeated! It may look impossible but I know God can do the impossible. They may have treated me wrong. I'm not worried. I know God is my vindicator. It may be taking a long time, but in due time I will reap my reward if I just don't give up. God can get me through anything I ask of him, maybe not on my terms but surly on his. He is a great God and I am proud to say that i will follow him and love him and I will praise him! My time is coming, my time to shine, my time to finally forgive all those i am needing to. My past will not define who I am, I will define who I am, and I choose not to be the girl who had a hurtful past. I choose to be the woman who has a beautiful heart and a promising tomorrow ahead of her.

***Update*** I proudly can say I didn't have an after dinner cigarette. Yay me! Life is easier and things just flow so much more smoothly when you are positive and forget about the negatives. So until tomorrow God Bless you all and may you find love peace and happiness. :) ♥

My Bad Habit

I have a bad habit, smoking. Well, let me correct myself, HAD a bad habit. Today I decided it was time to quit and get healthy again. Despite all the other times I have tried to quit in the past, but failed, I know this time is different. I WILL quit! I have God holding my hand, showing me a better way. He is telling me I can do anything as long as I hold tight to my faith. My faith......well that was a little weak over the past few years, but I am now a true believer. Don't ask me how, but in one night everything changed for me. When I went to bed last night I knew when I woke this morning things were going to be better. I woke up with a smile, ready to start the day-instead of the normal growl I gave because I didn't want to get out of bed. I was happy, and ready to start the first day of the rest of my life.

So I will mention my progress on kicking this bad habit to the curve in my post daily. Feel free to pray for me, extras prayers are always appreciated. :) So for now, I am going to cook dinner for the family and see if I can beat the hardest part of smoking. I always have to smoke after I eat, so pray for me, as I conquer the evil tobacco. :) I know I will feel better, breathe better, and Oh My Goodness how I will smell better. Most people wouldn't be excited about this like I am, but I am super duper excited! YAY FOR ME! I am proud of myself, I love myself, and MY LIFE will be better because I am a better person today then I was yesterday! So until next time, God Bless you all, and may you find peace and happiness. :) ♥

Some Things About Me

My name is Alice Johnson. It will be changing this year when my fiance and I get married. Then I`ll be Alice Cookston. I am so blessed to have met Cody, he is the reason I believed true love existed. Sometimes I don't understand how that man can love me so much, but I am very thankful that he does. I have a son and a daughter (11 & 9) who are the light of my life. I am so proud that I am their mother. Both of my children are so sweet and loving, and I would never miss out on the goodnight kisses and hugs I get every night. They all 3 are my life.

This blog is sort of a therapy for me. I will be posting daily, sometimes maybe more, but always at least once a day. I thinks its good to get out your feelings, I have kept them inside and hidden for so long. I will be writing about my past, present, and future. The good and the bad. I will be working my way to believing in my faith more, and letting the negative control me less. I hope that by doing this I will come to terms with my past pain and hurt and be able to forgive and to not let it control who I am, or who I want to be.

Some of you may not even be interested in reading this, that's ok. Some of you may enjoy and hopefully find some inspiration in my words that you may relate to, maybe help you to change for the better. Either way, may God bless you and your loved ones, and always remember, You cant go wrong when you walk with God.